Riding The Carousel

It seems as though aging is like riding a merry-go-round. Sometimes we are feeling like life is simply going round and round in circles. At other times we feel like we have the most powerful horse in the world and can accomplish anything we want to. There are even times when we can reach up and grab the gold ring, after many passes at the brass one.

Aging and getting through the various stages of life is not, in my opinion, like the advertisers want us to believe. No more am I running through fields of daisies. No more am I dashing into the surf at a beautiful beach. No more am I eating everything and anything I want.

I am now much more conscious of the variety of flowers in my garden and the beautiful bees and birds that visit them. I am much more aware of how hard I worked raising two children and working in the ER for many hours every week and how hard my son's and their wives are working raising their young families.  I am much more aware of how I must conserve my strength the day after a young grandchild returns home after spending the day and night with us.

And yet, I try my best to ride the carousel daily. By swimming a lot, eating well, reading more than ever, visiting the local parks and seeing friends, I have found that even though the gold ring does come up occasionally, I am content with the brass one on a daily basis.

How about you? Are you riding your carousel in a good way?

DOMA and the LGBT book

Even though I published the LGBT edition of Caring Is Not Enough a few years ago, there are many updates to the information. As with any individual who is married or single, aging or youngish, gay, lesbian or straight, there are many questions that need to be addressed.

LGBT relationships require more information be documented for the sake of the partner left behind. Are you married? Is the marriage recognized by the state in which you live? Where are the documents stating such? Do you have children? Do you have children together? Are they adopted? etc, etc, etc.

It is very important that the following article be read and then it is very important, if you are in an LGBT relationship, you get our LGBT edition of Caring Is Not Enough and fill it out: www.caringisnotenough.net

Same-sex marriage: Windsor v. US

By Bankrate.com

Edie Windsor, a resident of New York, had legally married Thea Spyer in Canada in 2007 after the two had lived together as a couple in New York for more than 40 years. Two years after marrying Windsor, Spyer passed away leaving her estate to her wife. Windsor was forced to pay $363,000 in federal taxes on Spyer's inheritance. Had their marriage been accorded the same status under federal law as a different-sex marriage, Windsor would have paid zero dollars in federal taxes. The lawsuit argues that the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, violates the equal protection guarantee of the U.S. Constitution by recognizing and honoring marriages of different-sex couples, but not honoring the legal marriages of same-sex couples. In the case, Windsor seeks a refund on the taxes she was forced to pay as well as federal recognition of her legally valid marriage.

In Windsor v. United States, the Supreme Court determined Section 3 of DOMA was unconstitutional on June 26, 2013.

Read more: http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/general/news/2013/03/20/57447/marriage-equality-at-the-u-s-supreme-court/#ixzz2XYAYqWGe

Follow us: @Bankrate on Twitter | Bankrate on Facebook

The Aging Game

This month I will celebrate my 70th birthday.

I have been repeatedly asked how I would like to celebrate the day. Giving some thought to the idea, I have decided that it would most appropriate if I spent the day remembering how it felt to be 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60. I can just sit by the pool with a cool drink and contemplate the fact that I have had such a fine life. I have a great family and wonderful friends. I have reached pinnacles in my career and then moved on from them. I love being semi-retired, but then I love to think about how much fun I have when I am busy working. Reaching certain ages signals some review of how one wants to spend their next years.

Do I want to travel more? I would like to see more of the world, but I am really not willing to go through the trouble of plane travel. After all, I have been many places and done so in relative comfort.

Do I want to sit on the beach? Oh yes, I love that. I have been to many beautiful beaches and enjoyed every one of them. But I can get in my car and be at the beach in an hour. OK, it isn't warm there, but it is the ocean.

Do I want to spend more time with our grandchildren? Oh, you bet! But now the 10 & 12 year olds are busy with their activities and friends..I am glad we still have a baby and a 2 1/2 year old who love having me in their lives. And I have to say, when we are done playing, I am tired!

Do day trips and overnights appeal? Yes...I think that is the way to go. Then when we have visited all of the beautiful sights that California has to offer, I can sleep in my own bed and not eat out at so many wonderful restaurants.

I love to read and garden and swim. I love to watch a good movie and cook a different meal. I love my home and everything in it. I love my spouse.

Aging is swell, if you take care of yourself and those who love you. Simply and with love.

Can I have my cake and ice cream now, please? Oh, and a glass of champagne would be perfect!

A New Day, A New Life

Mother's Day was spent with our dear son, his wife and their children. We watched a great soccer game, and then came to our home to swim and visit. We talked about so many things...how the kids have grown so much and so quickly, how the baby would be coming so soon for our other son and his wife and what it is like to be grandparents. It is one of the great joys of life. We get to give all of the love, get as many hugs and kisses as we want and then send them home!! We get to watch our children parent...what a joy that is. It is truly the fruit of our parenting that comes out when our children parent. We can see how they handle things differently and how right they might be. We watch the children respond, and know that all is well in their world.

Today we had another joyful day. Our second son's wife gave birth to their second child, a robust 8 pound 1 ounce boy. No name yet!

It was wonderful to receive the information immediately from them along with pictures! How times have changed.

And aren't we lucky!

Enough Is Enough!

Have you noticed how absolutely terrible the news has been lately? Well I have and I have decided that enough is enough. No news is good news. Why should I spend my time listening to "news porn" when I could be doing something productive? The talking heads on the news channels seem to be extra delighted when a devastating event occurs...it gives them more time to talk. And speculate. And say things that are tucked inside their heads that will keep you addicted to the story.

So I am concentrating on something different. I am going to teach myself a new language. No, wait. I will learn to make a better mousetrap. Hold it! I can try my hand at a souffle or perhaps a flan. Yes, that's it. That's the ticket. A flan. Then I can eat it. While I watch the news. Arggggg.....

Talk, Talk, Talk!

                                         

Yesterday, I was the guest on an internet radio show, "Be a Healthy Caregiver." It was fun, and I hope informative.

Click here to listen to the 30-minute show.

Listen to my BlogTalk Radio interview on Tuesday, April 30

I'll be interviewed by Chris MacLellan on his radio show, Be a Healthy Caregiver, on Tuesday, April 30.

We talk about my workbook and issues related to having "the conversation" about end-of-life planning.

Click here at 10am PT (1pm ET) on Tuesday to listen in...how prepared are you and yours are for dealing with a crisis?